doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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