I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
do nipples grow back?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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