Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
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