you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I'm just crazy horny about you
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
