How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
