do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Terrible idea I love it
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
