he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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