Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
