I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
