I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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