I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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