everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
