Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
