My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
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