Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
