she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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