I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
