doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
he was CRYING into my vagina
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
