She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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