you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
