it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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