I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
