No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
