We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
