I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
