this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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