it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
