I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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