I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
