sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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