I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
