why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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