I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
