The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
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