so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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