I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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