if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
