Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
