piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
You took a bar mat shot.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
