So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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