mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
