Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
