I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
