my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
