There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
