All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
