hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
As shirtless as possible
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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