my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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