well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
