I'm sorry my penis didn't work
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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