we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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