did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
