yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
