Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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