piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Come see our sink grown plant.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
