If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
