drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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