They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
it's like heaven, but drunker
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
