I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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