hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Semen is not good for contacts.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
NoShamevember. You game?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize