What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
