I'd wear matching sweaters with you
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
He is an equal opportunity slut.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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